what have you got for us
today?
—
don haas, jazz pianist
and arranger, as he greeted a student to begin a lesson
who’s in charge in
psychotherapy? some therapists let the client set the direction: “uh, huh…tell
me more…i hear you…so you’re saying.” some therapists are even, famously,
silent. at the other extreme, some therapists have fixed protocols. they fill
the sessions with exercises and assign homework between sessions. i like to
work collaboratively.
collaboration has 2 key
aspects. most visible is collegiality. when i ask my friend rob, a professor
who runs multi-center medical studies, how he understands collaboration, he
answers, “you have to like each other.” indeed, when i say, let’s be collaborative, i
mean let’s be friendly, respectful, considerate as we work together. if we’re
not getting along, i think we’re not collaborative (if i’m mad and blaming, i
may think you’re not
collaborative).
more subtly, a collaboration involves a significant contribution to the vision from all parties. john lennon and paul mccartney collaborated to write the beatles songs—even when they were fighting. they joined to create songs that are, to many listeners, better than the songs each wrote separately after the breakup of the beatles.
